I’m not blogging today. No, you can’t make me. I have not had a good day and I don’t feel like it.
Ok, I’ll tell you about one thing. I went to a weight class tonight at the gym. There were these muscle-heads in the weight room, thinking they were impressing us by getting in our way. One of them kept offering to help me with the big, heavy weights. *simper*
Now, if I wanted to rest and watch other people pick up heavy things, I guess I’d watch weight lifting on tv (do they do that on tv?). But no, I was there to…oh, I don’t know…LIFT WEIGHTS?? So what would make some sweaty moron think it would make me all atwitter to have him come unload the plates from the leg press machine for me? To make things worse, when he was done and grinning proudly at me, I gave him a drippingly sarcastic “Thanks. Whatever would I have done without you?” and he swaggers back to his sweaty moronic workout buddy and they elbow each other. Big grins. Ain’t he a stud.
Sarcasm is wasted on the stupid. Now, I’ve heard that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, so what does that leave for these guys? I’m guessing in the humor department their appreciation is limited to bodily function jokes.
People keep asking me if I’m dating yet. I’m going to start answering no, I’ve jumped straight to hating random men. More efficient. I don’t have to put on pantyhose this way.
Damnit, there I went and blogged.
*sigh*

I took the boys to two libraries today, count ‘em, two. The first one we went to so we could return many overdue books and pay the fines. How many overdue books, you ask? $29 worth of overdue books. I’m thinking screw the library; I’m buying books from now on. At least then I’d have something for my TWENTY-NINE bucks. I know, it’s not their fault. It’s mine. That just makes me more resentful.
But I digress.
After that humiliating trip we went to another library, where one of the local weather reporter guys was giving a presentation for kids. Correction: local METEOROLOGIST, Mike Nelson. He pointed out that not all people on TV predicting the weather are meteorologists. He sneered a bit when he said it.
But he is most certainly a meteorologist. And an entertaining one. Unfortunately, not entertaining to a two year old. Raphael lasted about 26 minutes (pretty good, no?). At that point he started trying to injure as many children as he could reach from his stroller-prison. A bored Raphi is a lethal Raphi. So I took him and Max out to rampage in the hallway. Tre stayed in, entranced. He did have to check on me a few times, but in the end fascination won out over abandonment fears.
We waited in the hall for an interminable length of time. During our wait we saw one child throw up. A lot. And one rotten four year old pushed Raphael down on the floor because he didn’t like the way he was running. The four year old was strapped in his stroller and resentful. Grrrrr.
But finally it was over. We went in and found Tre. He was fixated on getting Mike Nelson’s autograph, so we waited in line. Forever.
But we got it, and Tre got to tell him that he was going to be a meteorologist too, someday. Mr. Nelson gave him high-fives.
As we turned to go, Tre slipped his hand in mine. He almost never does that anymore. But he was so overcome that he reverted to a less self-aware age. He looked up at me, eyes shining.
“I never talked to a real meteorologist before,” he breathed.

Now he’s bugging me every 4.6 seconds to go to the bookstore and buy Mike Nelson’s book on Colorado weather. My, that child can focus.
But despite everything, rotten children (mine and others), sick children, a late lunch, and the endless nagging to get Mike Nelson’s book, I keep remembering Tre’s face. It was worth it.

I took the boys downtown today, to meet Dad. We were going to the bloodmobile so Dad and I could donate blood, then off to lunch. Now, Dad works downtown. Among the very young and hip. I always feel self conscious down there. Especially when I discover I have the remnants of a chocolate doughnut on my shoulder, knee, and back, like today. But the funny part is watching the downtown business crowd react to my crowd of little boys. The ALARM! The CONSTERNATION! People skirt my gaggle of children with looks on their faces as if to say “Whoa! What are you doing with THOSE? I mean, HERE? I don’t think we’re ZONED for children! Do you have a PERMIT??” It makes me want to encourage my boys to do things like run up and hug the nice lady in the suit. Hey, take your power where you can get it.
Then again, there were people who melted at the sight of them. It reminded me of being a kid in school, when a dog would wander onto the playground. Everyone went nuts, vying to get close enough to pet the dog. Now, kids love dogs, but our reaction was more than dog love. It was like a breath of fresh air, this unexpected dose of the real world. We craved it.
So, to the people who loved a dose of reality today in the form of three grubby faced kids, you’re quite welcome. And to the people who were terrified, you’re even more welcome. Hee, hee.